If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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