he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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