never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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