You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
