It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
false alarm. still invincible.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
