I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
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