just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Randomize
