my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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