i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
