be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
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