her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize