Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
