you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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