This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
