I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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