youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
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