We won't sleep together?
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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