ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I don't think brook has ever known best
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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