i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
