is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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