OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
