Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
