I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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