it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
