maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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