Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
He shit in the fireplace
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
