if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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