Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
