Dual....:-)
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
