I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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