when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
