Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Randomize
