There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
No stitches, just platelets and will power
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
