Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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