STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
