i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
