girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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