This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Randomize
