I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
