seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
