atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
