went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
