Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
