I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
