ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
