Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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