She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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