i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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