We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
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