can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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