It's like a parade of train wrecks.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
