So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
