Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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