I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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