im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
