were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
