I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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