Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
