im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
sex in a hospital.. check
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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