how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
