Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
