it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
