Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
