I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
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