party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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