tell your sister to shave her snatch
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Randomize
