so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
she peed on how many people?
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
