I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
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