So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Randomize
