she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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