I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize