My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
