no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
