I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
