You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
