would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
We left an ass print on the piano.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize