I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
